Her love for him brings security for the children. Love the father doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage is going to be saved. He may not respond in kind. He may walk away and she can't do anything about that. You wrote that you wanted to know every detail from Ted. Should women know the details of their husband's infidelity?
I think that it depends on the person. I was the kind of person where I really wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know my husband; I wanted to know what had happened. Not all women are like that, and some counselors say it's better for them not to know. I needed to know, and this is how I did it, and this is what happened as a result of it. I talk about by knowing; at least I was dealing with the truth and not with my imagination.
I knew my husband, and I knew what I believed. I felt we could fight through this. I believe in the power of confession. This brought my husband to the place where he had to face his sin and confess it. Once he did, it undid the power of secrecy. Secrecy is what empowers sin. We were able to heal together.
I was encouraged by the fact that my husband was able to openly confess what his struggle had been. I stayed because I believe in the teachings of Jesus, that if we choose forgiveness and love, our relationships can heal. I stayed because my husband is worth it.
I wasn't going to let the struggle that had been going on with him disqualify or undo the 30 years of life we had built together, the wonderful marriage we have, the family and church that we had built.
I wasn't going to let this thing deny all of what we have spent our lives invested in. If I had walked away, it would've been a denial of all that. You had been leading a women's ministry in a church context. Do you see your role differently now? I see people more compassionately. I didn't know what it was like to be the person who so desperately needed compassion. I live to share God's grace with people who really need it.
The message I want to convey is that people are not alone when they go through their darkest hour. They can trust God, and he will not abandon them in the midst of their pain.
With him, they'll never be alone. His love does cover a multitude of sins. Click for reprint information. Christianity Today has covered Ted Haggard in the past. Have something to add about this? See something we missed? Share your feedback here.
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To share this article with your friends, use any of the social share buttons on our site, or simply copy the link below. Sections Home. Haggard, a national evangelical leader, has allegedly paid for sex with a Denver man up to 36 times over the past three years. He is photographed at the church on Sunday, July 3. At the beginning of the service there is music in the center of the church and Haggard faces the musicians and prays and sings with others from the audience.
He is in the dark suit on the left, close to the camera. Almost from the day Gayle Haggard learned in early November that her famous evangelical husband, Ted Haggard, had a secret life of drug use and homosexual liaisons, she knew she would try to forgive him.
The choice was mine. They have returned to Colorado Springs, where they sometimes hold prayer meetings at their home, as they did when they organized New Life in Gayle Haggard says in the book, co-written by Angela Hunt, that she knew forgiving her husband would not happen all at once.
Our church felt healthy. That was probably the happiest time in my life up until that point. Although Haggard would hide the truth from the public for as long as he could, he came clean to his wife. The Haggards drove home and told their children.
They also met with the church elders who would eventually strip him of his job and order him to leave Colorado altogether. That night, Gayle allowed Ted into her bed, and when he reached out, she found herself struggling to decide whether to allow him to touch her.
She writes about that moment in her book:. I knew the importance of physical touch … And I knew the damage rejection could cause. Broken people need to be touched, and by reaching out, Ted was pleading for my help. I had coached other women through this. Now it was my turn …. And so that night I began my journey of choosing … Choosing to love. Vieira asked Gayle what led her to make that choice at a time when she had to be hurting so horribly.
The couple had no savings.
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