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How to Raise Mentally Strong Kids. But the trick is maintaining a good balance. Source: cdn4. Some children are very calm and composed and tend to listen and follow what parents say. But some children are naturally quite restless and are looking forward to experiencing things way before someone warns them.
While the first case will just need you to have a say, the second will need you have a good hold on them. Source: buzzfeed. When you tend to be too strict about everything the situations turns to seem as though you are training them to act by your choices and make choices based on you.
But if you click the right balance then you are going to guide them to the choice while they make their own. Sometimes overly strict parents unknowingly force children to give up their creativity, dreams and hopes and make them feel like their path has already been laid. Don't know how to format the bibliography page in your paper? Use this converter to calculate how many pages a certain number Create a strong thesis statement with our online tool to clearly express There is a question on whether parents should be strict or not, and how strict they should be.
If a parent is strict, many tend to think that such parents are always unfair to their children, but these parents tend to think that the best parents are strict. This is because every parent tries to instill discipline in his or her children.
By being strict, parents feel that the children will always take them seriously and, therefore, will act to the teachings of their parents. Children raised by strict parents will always respect their parents as well as other elders. On the other hand, children prefer that parents not be strict because their strictness causes the children frustration.
Teenagers tend to challenge their parents because they are already building their self-esteem and sense of autonomy, which they feel parents interfere with. This brings about the controversy between the parent and children, especially teenagers.
Teens tend to be independent and rebellious, and, therefore, make many mistakes that make their parents angry. Most parents understand that every teenage is in a delicate stage of life. They try to give them some added freedom and the responsibility that goes with it. It is important to instill discipline when children are young because they will grow up with strong values. The friendship between parents and children should be of paramount importance because children should learn to trust their parents more than anybody else.
Caring parents will never lead their children astray, and they will always lead their children on the right paths. Parents and children who do not have a strong relationship will continuously have issues that are not good for the family. So strict parenting makes for unhappy parents. And children who are parented strictly end up fighting with parents and carrying a chip on their shoulder.
As they get older, they look for love in all the wrong places. The bottom line is that strictness does not work in creating better-behaved kids; in fact, it sabotages everything positive we do as parents and handicaps our kids in their efforts to develop emotional self-discipline. So does Permissive parenting work?
Click here for the reasons permissive parenting is bad for your child. And what does work? Many studies show that there's another way that works best. This approach has been called "authoritative" parenting, but I don't like that word because it is usually confused with "authoritarian.
Notice they're spelled differently, and they don't mean the same thing! Instead, I call this parenting style "Empathic Limits" to get across the point that we do set limits, just like the Authoritarian strict parents, but we do it with empathy, just like the Permissive parents. Children thrive on Limits and Age-appropriate expectations, but only if they're set with empathy.
Here's how. But it's important to note that this doesn't just mean a happy medium between Permissive and Strict. The happy medium approach tends to compromise standards in ways that aren't good for kids "Ok, you can stay up later" while continuing to use punishments like Timeouts -- milder, but still punishments.
In other words, it isn't good for either parents or kids, even if it isn't as bad as authoritarian or permissive. Because parents feel forced to compromise their standards, and their kids still don't behave very well because the parent is still using punishment. What we're really aiming for is the expectations and limits that keep kids functioning at a high level, combined with the warmth and support of "Permissive.
Click here to watch Dr. Want to explore the research behind this approach? My favorite resource is the index of Alfie Kohn's wonderful book Unconditional Parenting, which lists hundreds of peer-reviewed studies that support this view.
That's a wealth of research. I refer readers here because you get a synopsis of peer-reviewed research from a credible academic, and you get the citations to track the studies down if you want to. But here are a few studies to get you started.
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