But I still flunked. I had no interest in school. I was a young kindergartener, having barely passed my fifth birthday. I was young and immature. The teacher said I was very social, talking and playing instead of listening to my lessons.
Now I was an older and more mature student—older than most of my peers. This never bothered me. School came easily for me from then on; I loved to learn, and I always got good grades. My experience taught me that not all 5-year-olds are ready for kindergarten.
It would have been better for me if my parents had kept me at home one more year. Some children are 5 years old chronologically, but not developmentally. Developmentally, they are not ready for kindergarten. There are, however, problems that can arise when a child is "held back.
And those possible downsides are significant, too. Some children might suffer from the social stigma of repeating a grade and end up feeling embarrassed and ashamed, leading to a negative self-concept. Experts also point out that holding a child back due to developmental delays is, literally speaking, further delaying development. Many of them suggest parents seek independent evaluation for specific developmental delays and then, if the results warrant it, spend time in occupational therapy over the summer to try to catch up.
In the end, it's impossible to predict how any individual will respond to staying back or moving on -- or even how much progress that child will make in the last months of school or over the summer. For all anyone knows, your child could end up perfectly on track by the fall.
There's no right answer, and it's important to keep in mind that we're talking about 5 and 6 year olds here. Few of them will be deeply affected by or even remember later on repeating kindergarten. The most important thing, in the end, is how you react to the situation.
No matter what you decide to do, keep in mind your child is looking to you to set the tone. Whether it's kindergarten for a second time or playing catch-up over the summer to prepare for first grade, a positive, low-pressure attitude is essential.
This is not about how smart or good or " normal " your child is. It's about how developmentally ready he or she is for first grade at this moment in time -- and children will reach their milestones when they're ready. For more information on grade school, child development and related topics, check out the links on the next page.
Sign up for our Newsletter! Mobile Newsletter banner close. I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. I'm usually not a big advocate of retention, but lean more towards it in Kinder. Especially if the student in question is a young Kinder. Kat53 , May 3, Joined: Jul 13, Messages: 10, Likes Received: 0. May 3, Last year I recommended that my sister in law hold my nephew back in kindergarten. His birthday is the first week in August. She thought it would be so horrible to make him stay back when his friends were going on to first grade.
Honestly the parents have a harder time with this concept them the kids. This year he has struggled in first grade. He actually met all the K. He will be repeating first grade. His mom is kicking herself for not listening to me. PS: I do not teach in the same state as he goes to school in. JaimeMarie , May 3, Joined: Mar 12, Messages: Likes Received: 0. May 3, You have already received a lot of really good advice.
Your son is young so retention would give him a chance to mature more so he is ready for the ability to be independent that first grade requires. Also, I wanted to add that teachers and administrators do not arrive at the decision to recommend retention lightly. This is a decision that is monitored,documented, and carefully evaluated. Please carefully consider their professional opinions. S , May 3, May 4, In the district I attended, at least half the class turned 18 before graduation.
It wasn't due to being held back or anything, it just had to do with our start time and birthday cut-off. I was one of the youngest in my class, and I turned 18 a month or two after graduation. It was the norm in that district. I was pretty surprised to learn that it's not the norm in the district where I teach or in many other districts, evidently.
Caesar , May 4, May 4, My son will graduate in this month. He will be 19 in June. I am so glad I gave him an extra year I have enjoyed him and this year was icing on my cupcake He is graduating with 15 college hours and a 4.
He is not a dropout. Joined: May 2, Messages: 1, Likes Received: May 5, You may think he will be devastated at being held back but the students I've held back seemed not to really know.
They just had a much better second year. And he will struggle in first grade. If this were my baby, I think I would take the summer and have fun and play and read together, repeat kindergarten and take that pressure of "hard work" off. Should school be "hard work" or should it be work?
Hang in there and let us know your outcome! Joined: Nov 6, Messages: Likes Received: 0. May 6, Parents have the final say!
If they choose not to retain they do have to sign a form so that they can't come back at us later if the child doesn't perform well.
This is the first time in my 6 years of teaching that I am recommending retention. I'm actually recommending 3 kiddos for retention. I am having a really hard time with it as a teacher, so I have no doubt that the decision is by fast more difficult for the parents. I think I'll be recommending that parents work hard at home and the students attend summer school and THEN we decide.
In my situation, it will tell me a lot because I'm not convinced the parents are willing to work with then this summer. However, it sounds like you have a plan in place to try to catch him up. This would make me feel better as a teacher. I say see how he does this summer and then decide what is best. One question If there is immaturity involved, I would lean towards retention. I just want to say thank you to all of you that have replied to my post.
You have been a tremendous amount of help and inspiration to me. I had a meeting with the principal of our school this morning and spent the rest of the day crying. I agree with who said that this is most likely harder on me as his mom than it will be on him. But I did make the decision to start him back in K in the fall but requested to have them access him within the first few days of school and if the improvement is there and he meets the 1st grade requirements then they will move him forward.
If not then I have faith that doing another year will enable him to become an achiever rather than a struggeler. There are several things with this school that I disagree with but they are the highest ranking school in our area and I think possibly the state as well. I still am not sure if they have my sons best interest at heart, but I know for a fact that I do, and I do know that he has struggled more than a little one should and I don't want to put that kind of strain on him again next year.
I had learned that they are witholding Kindergarteners this year which was the reason for my concern. Holding children back in K and 1st have become the norm and that disheartens me. But again, I want to say thank you to all of you who took the time to respond with your advice, personal expierences, and thoughts. I truely appreciate it. ConcernedMomma , May 8, May 8, Good luck PM me if you need someone to sound off to!!!
Good luck. Joined: Apr 29, Messages: 5, Likes Received: 1, May 8, A friend of mine had a K child who was held back last year. She agreed that he was just not mature enough and couldn't keep up with the other kids. He is doing great this year and never even mentions the fact that he has been in K before.
TeacherNY , May 8, Joined: Jul 3, Messages: Likes Received: 1. May 19, We held my son back in 2nd grade and it was, without a doubt, the best thing we ever did for him. He has a Sept.
He even says he is glad that we did it. As far as your child being upset, it's all in the presentation. It's hard, but we have to put our mommy feelings aside and do what's right for the long term. I've been teaching for 19 years and have never heard of anyone regretting letting their child repeat a grade. Teacher Chele , May 19, Joined: Jan 9, Messages: Likes Received: 0.
May 31, I have been in the same situation, except opposite. My son's preschool teacher wanted him to go to Kindergarten. He was academically ready and socially ready actually he was reading, writing, could count to , ect He made the cut off, which in California was, at the time, turning 5 in the begining of December. In the past, some students with parent agreement repeated kindergarten as they were considered not ready, developmentally, for the first grade. Some states have the cut-off as December 1st.
Typical areas of development that are assessed in kindergarten screening include communication or language skills, motor skills such as fine and gross motor, social skills involving adults and peers, adaptive behavior such as self-help skills and independent functioning, and pre-academic skills such as counting, naming …. In kindergarten, students begin very basic curriculum in all subjects, including science, social studies, and the arts; but the most important academic topics will be literacy reading and writing and math, which underly everything else to come.
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