Sometimes, too, a specific change lessens desire—like an emotional issue related to pregnancy or parenthood. There are also causes of sexless marriages that have nothing to do with sex drive having a porn addiction, secretly preferring a partner of another gender, having an affair but not wanting to leave the marriage.
Whatever the reason, your husband is probably carrying a heavy burden—and in his own way, he probably feels as alone in his pain as you do. So back to the broader issue, which is something you can talk to him about. When doing so, try approaching him from a place of curiosity rather than blame.
I just want you to know that I miss feeling close to you, and not just physically. What can cause a sudden lack of interest in the bedroom? Certainly, age can and oftentimes does have something to do with it. Sexual activity starts to decline around age 45 on average, according to a review published in the Journal of Nurse Practitioners.
In men, both testosterone and estrogen levels begin to decrease, which can lead to erectile dysfunction. Though you may be happy to know plenty of couples continue to have sex well into their 80s. But age isn't the only thing that can cause a man to lose interest in sex. According to several experts, there are plenty more preventable and treatable! And while health and physical factors can be part of the issue, sometimes couples lose their spark for emotional reasons.
In fact, the suggestion that all men only care about is sex turns out to be quite untrue, and this fallacy can end up doing severe damage to a relationship. From health conditions to an increase in stress to relationship problems, there are plenty of reasons why your partner doesn't feel up to a romp in the sack. Here are just a few reasons for low sex drive in men:. When you think of a mistress, you likely automatically think of another partner entering into the picture.
But the "mistress" taking up all of your man's attention and affection could actually be his occupation. Testosterone is one of the most widely prescribed hormone medications in the United States. According to a review published in Urology , testosterone levels decline with age as rapidly as 0.
And around 13 percent of the male population has hypogonadism , which is a failure to produce enough testosterone. In addition to a low libido, symptoms of low testosterone can include decreased energy, low mood, fatigue, loss of muscle mass, and even erectile dysfunction, Abraham Morgentaler , M. According to Dr.
Morgentaler, as many as 97 percent of men who have low testosterone levels report a negative impact on their sex lives. There isn't one answer to what it means if your husband doesn't want sex anymore. It's important to figure out which of the above reasons apply to him. The tendency may be to think the worst: "He isn't attracted to me," "He doesn't love me anymore," or "He must be cheating. Sexual challenges are normal.
We don't see this in the media, and people aren't generally talking about their sexual issues, so we don't realize how common it is to struggle with sex. And when sex gets difficult, when there's a chance we can "fail," when we might end up feeling broken or inadequate, we tend to avoid it. The fact that your husband avoids sex now is most likely rooted in these types of negative consequences.
It's also common to believe that nothing can revitalize a dreary sex life, that a sexless relationship is hopeless.
Many people worry that the lack of sex means their relationship is doomed or that they are facing the rest of their life or marriage without intimacy. But you can work together to understand what's been happening and to create a sex life that is actually easy and fun for both of you.
Approach him with compassion and curiosity about what might be going on. Most of the reasons men avoid sex are rooted in changes or feelings that are difficult for them. They may feel guilty, ashamed, or self-conscious. Adopt a positive attitude of wanting to truly understand what's happening and work on it as a team. You may have to be persistent if he doesn't jump into the conversation with you.
If you and your husband have conflict or tension, make sure to resolve those concerns. Get help from a therapist if you can't make progress on your own. Make sure the two of you are best friends and teammates in life.
Be willing to talk about what you do and don't do in the bedroom. Get out of the rut and do something different. Take longer with foreplay, get physical in a different room, or wear something new to bed. Just being willing to get a little creative together can infuse energy into your sex life.
Stop thinking about sex as being about one particular activity or any particular outcome. Show up to play together and enjoy whatever happens.
For folks with more reactive desire, this helps them get started. For anyone worried about performance, this takes the pressure off. Treat sex as just a way to be physically intimate, no matter what happens. There are so many things that can make sex difficult, and sexual difficulty creates sexual avoidance. Take your time, be patient, and, if needed, seek counseling to ensure your self-esteem and confidence remain intact.
Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. The relationship between marital and sexual satisfaction among married women employees at Golestan University of medical sciences, Iran. Iran J Psychiatry Behav Sci. Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, Arch Sex Behav. Sexuality and quality of life in aging: implications for practice. J Nurs Pract.
Montgomery KA. Sexual desire disorders. Psychiatry Edgmont. The association between daily stress and sexual activity. J Fam Psychol. Simon JA. Low sexual desire--is it all in her head? Pathophysiology, diagnosis, and treatment of hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Postgrad Med. Female sexual pain disorders: a review of the literature on etiology and treatment.
Current Sexual Health Reports. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder: a review of epidemiology, biopsychology, diagnosis, and treatment. Sex Med Rev. Cleveland Clinic. Sexual dysfunction. Updated January 23,
0コメント